Won't somebody think of the children?

Civilization is crumbling again. Kids are running wild, disrespecting their elders and engaging in spontaneous fornication events. Proof of the catastrophe facing our youth is as follows:

1. Sex Bracelets
We all know that kids these days are having regular intercourse, despite our best efforts to keep them in the dark about the whole sex thing.

Now, in a bid to have even more sex, kids are wearing sex bracelets. The sexbracelets.com website strenuously objects to the idea that kids are using their bracelets, but we all know that they're lying.

2. Video Games
As usual, another high quality study was released connecting video games to terminal brain damage:

Meanwhile, a recent study that examined the brains of five video-game players of both sexes ages 8 to 13. In testimony before the U.S. Senate, Dr. John Murray reported that his study of video-game neurology demonstrates how the brain "treats entertainment violence as something real ..... [and] stores this violence as long-term memory."

That is one well-funded study. Five kids, what a sample size. I hope to God that no public money was spent on such stupidity.

3. Stuff by Duff

Well, ok, this just might really be one of the signs of the apocalypse... Mary Kate and Ashley have already brought us to the edge...